I would refrain from using the term "mental illness" when describing a WAW who just doesn't want to be married to you. It is being dismissive and minimizing her hurts that she's stuffed down over time.
Set her free. Move ahead with putting the house on the market and split proceeds 50%. Then place them an escrow until the rest of other financial issues are resolved. Then continue working with your L about retirement and other issues that matter to you. It may mean that those unresolved issues will need to be decided by a judge.
After they've been resolved, then the sale proceeds can be released from the escrow account.
