Hi, Marylov, I'm one of the ladies Betsey asked to check in with you.
My first impression is, listen to every single thing LITB and Betsey said to you, and don't think any other thoughts relating to your sitch until you have answered their questions fully, honestly, and without any "buts". Own your stuff.
The second thing is, I'm going to track down some links and quotes for you. One is the pursuit & distancer thread Karma mentioned. Definitely drop your pursuit. Use the validation link every time your H speaks to you. Every time.
I have one more question: why did you instigate arguments? What sorts of things did you complain about? Were THOSE things really so important or was there something else going on that you masked with the actual fight? I ask not because either of you was right or wrong, but to understand what was going between you.
I'll be back.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15