No it's not too late. Look at my timeline below and at MOST people here. We worked this approach/program for many months/years. This is not a sprint; it's a marathon.
You must prepare yourself for a longer task than you seem to realize.
It took your marriage awhile to get here, and it will take time to repair it.
I read somewhere that for every change you want to make AND have it seen as "real", you have to show that change a month for every year of the prior behavior.
So, if you were chronically late for the last decade of marriage, and you want to PROVE that you are now "Mr. Punctual",
you'd have to be punctual for 10 months (1 month of new desired behavior, for every year of the previous behavior).
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I was the WAS in my first marriage. I was 30 yrs old and we had been married 11 yrs with 4 kids. The unfortunate pattern I have seen is men don't take what their wives are saying very seriously until it's too late. I bet if you looked back there are times your wife was asking you to be more attentive and to step up and be a more equal partner.
It's great that you are trying now but I can tell you that she probably doesn't trust the changes will stick. The OM is doing the things you did when you were courting her. Giving her attention , telling her how special she is ect. This is where I see a lot of men drop the ball in marriages. They get too comfortable and take their wife for granted. I know women are guilty of the same and which causes some husbands to be the WAS.
It does sound like your w. Does still have some emotional attachment to you and that's a good thing. Usually when a women is done ....she's done.
Gal, have a PMA, thank her for the wake up call. Show her that you are sincere by continuing the changes. You have an advantage over the OM. You have a history, children and it sounds like she is still connected.
Do draw boundaries. It is not ok for her to be disrespectful to you and your marriage. There are a few threads on Boundaries on here. Maybe Cadet could post them for you. technology is not my forte lol.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
