Sorry you find yourself here, but welcome. You have been getting some good advice, and here is a bit more. Go back through these posts, and actually take the time to answer the questions that were asked of you. You don't necessarily have to post the answers here, but make sure you understand what's going on in your own head. Do you always need to be right? Do you put being right above the relationship? Do you in fact disrespect him by your choices? Why do you do that? The sooner you figure this stuff out for yourself, the faster you can get to the person you want to be.
Now go back and read the parts where it says stop chasing your H and focus on getting a life for yourself. I know it's hard with a little one, I totally get that. Use your mom as a babysitter when she's willing, and do things that you can take LO along with.
Finally, let me share with you what gave me the most heartburn after BD. Fear. I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of being alone, I was afraid of being a single parent, I was afraid of a financial crisis, of having to move out of my house, of friends judging me, of social stigma. It was overwhelming. But when I looked at each one of those, addressed it individually, most of those monsters under the bed turned out to be dust bunnies.
Mary, you can do this, you will be OK. Someone wrote that to me on my first post here, and I didn't really believe her. But you know what, I am OK. You will be too. Keep posting.
Go back through these posts, and actually take the time to answer the questions that were asked of you. You don't necessarily have to post the answers here, but make sure you understand what's going on in your own head. Do you always need to be right? Do you put being right above the relationship? Do you in fact disrespect him by your choices? Why do you do that? The sooner you figure this stuff out for yourself, the faster you can get to the person you want to be.
