It sounds like you and H have been going in circles with each other. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Sometimes we have to agree to disagree. As two seperate people you both bring your own perceptions, beliefs and ideas to the relationship.
It also sounds like you both are reactive with each other. Learning anger management could be a helpful goal for you. You can't change H's behavior but you can change yours. If you change how you react and respond you will be teaching your child how to have a healthy relationship. We all tend to repeat the things we saw growing up. Break that pattern.
I agree with the other posters. It is imperative that you give your H. Space. That is respecting him and what he needs right now. If you remind yourself that the more you push the further he will move back it will help keep you in check.
There are some good threads on here about the Pursuit and distancer dance. I'm not great with technology maybe someme with more tech skill can post them here for you.
It is easy to get caught up with kids and only see yourself as a Mother. It's important not to lose the woman in you.
Keep busy. Have a PMA. If you GAL and have a PMA that will be what gets H's attention. Fake it until you make it act "as if"
If H is determined to seperate do look out for yourself. Find out what your rights are. Don't worry about upsetting H. You may be able to stay in the home. If he wants to leave and has to struggle that's the consequences of a choice he made.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
