One of my metaphors about relationships is that life is like cake. The cake is great and fine on its own. A relationship is icing. It adds to the cake. Your H cannot look to you to make him happy.mthatnhas to come from within him. You can add to his happiness. Make sense?
You sound like me. Type A. Lol I was doing everything around our house and I like things in their place. My H felt like I was nagging if I asked him to put dishes he left out away or complained about the house being messy when I got home from work. H liked that I was responsible for most house things yet resented me at the same time. He wasn't steping up to be an equal partner.
It sounds like your H withholds sex as a punishment. That's not healthy. It's important for men to feel like we see them as men and not fall into the habit of treating them like one of the kids.
You can't fix what you don't know. It's great that you are talking to a coach. H. Also needs to talk to someone where he can feel safe disclosing the real issues. The onion needs to be peeled back to get at the core issues and feelings.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
