Surving the rollercoster

[Karma12]

Hi 25yrs,

Thank you for your thoughtful insights. I agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying.

Part of what I think sparked H. To get friendlier in the Summer was my SD telling him about a young guy that was hitting on me when I took her on vacation to visit my brother. We had just arrived and we're taking out our suitcases when this man that was no more than 30 something came over and was asking me my name, if I was single, telling me how attractive I was. I was really embarrassed at the time and SD told EVERYONE the story.lol Apparently she told H when she got home all about it.

H does know I've been going to parties over Xmas and that I have traveled. He also knows I have a profile now on an online dating site. He knows too that most of my friends that were single now have boyfriends.

H said we had coffee the other night that he knows I'm the real meal deal and not someone that has casual relationships. I told him that that did not mean I had my suitcases packed thinking I was going to sell my place and move back in. I told him I had thought we were getting to know each other again and would maybe date and see where things grew. I said that way I could come back to my nice clean place and you could stay in your messy place without it bothering me. We both laughed other that as it is the truth! Lol

I agree being indifferent is not the right idea. I was thinking more of not answering texts as quickly, not being as available ect. He did start the getting closer by doing funny little trying not to be obvious but being soooo obvious things like texting me not about SD at weird times using silly reasons. Eg. He texted me once at 2:30 am to say " I heard Scotland is voting for independence. ( I'm Scottish) what does your family think?" Haha.

When we first split H did not want to spend time with me and his texts were very short and only about SD. At that rime I think he would have been happy to not have to see me again. Now he wants me in his life and was worried that I was going to shut the door on him. He can't committ to yes and he can't committ to no.

One thing I have learned in my life is the definition of insanity is repeating the same behaviors expecting different results.

I will do as you said. I will move ahead in my life with no expectations. If I'm not really ready to date I will act as if I am. I will be more mysterious. H said he wants to stay close and know what's going on in my life. I will be more evasive when it comes to my social life. ; )

Once her returns from his trip and we are in contact I will be asking for feedback to help keep me on the straight and narrow.

Thanks again!