Started Yoga today - a bit Zen for me, prefered Pilates, but was nice to have an hour of distraction - being a human pretzel needs total focus ha ha
Applied for another job, in an office this time -
I have been quite down since I arrived (inside; outside is a bundle of fun and smiles) back to tears and feeling so sad about what has happened. I know wishing gets us nowhere but I do wish - wish that my life was back to how it used to be - happy and looking forward to our 2nd stage of life - emptynesters, travelling together and living in our dream home in country. Nostalgic moments.
No communication from h - not that anything from him would be positive as ow is his focus now- I remain NC - I have not contacted him since Oct when he thought he wanted "us" back. He has not contacted me since Nov and that was only about finance stuff. He is taking next week off to spend with s17 (his 18th b/day next week - sad not to be spending it with him) before s17 goes back to his home to start college. I am glad he is making an effort with both our sons - I hope it continues, especially as I am not there.
As for my plans - at the moment I am job hunting. I am going to stay here for the summer, I hope to get work soon and start to save, then I am going to travel - its a really scary thought at the moment, travelling on my own - but I am told it is good for the soul and doing it solo is the best way as you make friends and your own schedule.
I am trying really hard to make plans without a thought for H in them, but it is hard - and I find myself being a little non-committal to permanent things as I want to leave life open for change ....ever hopeful .... anyone got a crystal ball??!
So thats my day - still plodding along, often at a snail pace but I will get there ....it reminds me of tortoise and the hare story - h is the hare, going at 100kph and will eventually burn out - I am the tortoise, plodding along slowly .... but will win the race :o)
Hope all is good with everyone - anyone heard from vge - is she ok? ((hugs)) to all
