Devastated Husband; Need Advice...Part 2

[Calibri]

For myself, started work again, and its taking a little getting used to these long hours again but it is definitely keeping me busy for the day. FINALLY got my household goods in today, so no more sleeping on an air mattress that my dog decided was a chew toy so it wasn't so much of an "air" mattress as just something between the floor and me. FIL had a heart attack Monday, he's fine now, but just...different/weird when its someone you know...There was a shooting on post yesterday, if you guys haven't heard it in the news already, so that was also...different. Heading to CA for 10 days in 2 weeks for work so more traveling ahead.

I cannot believe it takes the army that long to get your stuff to you. Cheers to sleeping in your own bed! Sorry to hear about FIL, and heyyyy, now we know what part of TX you're in (did that sound creepy, don't worry I meant for it to be. JOKING.)

This is where I struggle. Sounds like she is playing W with me and leaning on me for support, when as of now, we have not talked about R at all. Many people here would argue, she left, no emotional support. I agree, to an extent. But, talking about this to my DB Coach last week gave a different POV. She said, you're right, she's not making an effort to R right now, but who would you rather have her turn to, you or OM (EA)?

No advice on the apartment. Just, "I'm sure you'll make the right choice." I don't know if she's playing W with you but more of a friend. But I agree with your coach.

I guess that makes sense, but I'm still on the fence about it, but I shouldn't doubt DB Coach. Also keep thinking of ROBX post a while back, that when WAW is actually reaching out to you, talking to you, texting you, then STFU and enjoy it because this is the same person that said they wanted nothing to do with you 3 months ago. Don't think about R or bringing up M talks because its still way too soon.

Exactly. Although, hey, I'm freaking out in my own thread because my H is talking to me. Willingly. And im all, wtf is this!?!? So enjoy it. Personally, I don't think your W is going to be ready for the R talk for awhile. She's gotta figure herself out. She has to prove to herself, and perhaps you, that she can do everything she wants to do.

On that note, W has been having a variety of crazy ideas lately-told me she wanted to join the Army and wanted to know if they would station us at the same place (WHAT?)

Do what? Ok in what context is she saying this, for y'all to be together, or for you to be friends? I'm worried you're going to get friend zoned.

But she's been texting me saying "Thank you for putting up with me," and just listening to her.

I get a version of that from my spouse. Wonder what that means.

Something I find ironic, and I called her out on it this morning, was that she has more than once told me "can you just please tell me what to do" regarding her career/apartment/internship. And I said I thought you hate when I tell you what to do. And she changes it to well, don't tell me what to do, just tell me what you would do if you were me.

Are you the make version of me? I just had a convo with H on Monday with something similar.

She sounds indecisive as all get out. Like you said below, she wants to be own her own but she wants the perks of the M. But without being M. I feel like I'm stirring the pot here. Hopefully someone else can give you perspective.

I am slowly realizing that this is really going to be a long journey. I have said in my last post, i have some more growing to do, but W has a lot as well...Not much else I can do but keep doing what Im doing and see what happens, though it scares me like crazy to think about that since I have no idea what will happen...

I basically said the same thing tonight.

Where do you feel you still need to grow?