Now I need to pull my heart out of there, inch by inch, and I can't do it fast enough to avoid the hurt of seeing her gone and with someone else. I know I'll have to detach and focus on myself and I believe I'm making progress. But I'm not there yet.
Mozza, you and I agree that we're DB brothers. Extremely similar sitches, similar tendancies for both of us (although I pursued more). I have a few months head start with pain and processing, and here's something Ive learned recently: You HAVE to feel that pain. I'm not saying you should pursue more pain, like browsing her FB posts would do. You'll run into plenty of it on your own, as you well know. But your goal, not your ultimate goal, but your day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute goal should be to process your emotions in a healthy way when they come, not to avoid them, fight them, ignore them or even to grow out of them. Acknowledge that they're there, experience them while they're there, but know that your emotions are not you, just like rain is not you even though it soaks you. And when an emotion begins to subside, just wave goodbye to it and acknowledge your next emotion. And if you put yourself in the right situations (GAL, family and friends, be around things or people that make you laugh, etc), more and more often, that next emotion will be something positive. Do you struggle when you're around your kids, like it reminds you of what is missing? If so, I completely empathize with that. Stick with everything, though, and they will eventually turn back into a source of joy.
Great job today. You da man, Moz
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
