afraid I have waited too long #5

[nit84]

Wonka,

She said back in August when I first presented a refinance plan, mind you at her request, That it would make it too easy for me to get the house and I wouldn't want to give up any retirement or property either.

I explained to her that I didn't want her to sign the house over to me, just sign a paper recognizing that I am borrowing money against a house that W is part owner of.


She got angry and said "I told you to refinance 3 years ago!!" I said" we tried remember? our debt to equity was not where it needed to be and we decided together to stay on that path and in couple years try again. Life happened you wanted out and then lost your job. it could have happened last year but all this stuff was going on so it couldn't. I never lost sight of our goal and I am very you did but that is your choice."


I then showed her the apparaisal I had done, again at her request, and she said "why isn't the house worth X "I said "we both knew it wouldn't be and now this just proves it. The bank is offering 10,000 more. it is a good deal IMO and it also saves you money. It is not all just for my benefit." She walked away angrily and I sat there in dismay.


I told my W way back that her Ideas to fix up the house were wonderful we had to wait for the dog to cross over. Once that happened(we were already S) I started making plans to fix the house. She got angry and said I was only doing this to throw it her face. I validated to no avail.

In her settlement proposal they are attempting to say the house is worth 23,000.00 more than the appraisal. With little back up just a possible internet value.

Also, if I was allowed to refinance I would assume all my W debt. she would be debt free and allowed to start over fresh with half my retirement and half of the property.

It is her contention that she doesn't owe any credit card debt but 99.9% sure since she used the card to buy things even though 2 out of 3 are in my name and she is only an associate user it will all be considered Marital debt at some point.


She hasn't paid any credit card bills in 8 months so it is getting tight and she knows it.

I am not sure if she know that if need be I will sell the house even though I love it and want to keep it.


It is a case of "If I can't have it, you aren't having it either" IMHO and also she knows it will hurt me and that is her goal as was the Dog death and now the Cat's death. When our dog Died she looked me right in the face and said "I don't want you with me when I put her down because I have so much resentment towards you I can't do it." after I asked to be there. The dog passed at home but she dug the hole and buried before I could home from work. She wasn't working at the time