afraid I have waited too long #5

[nit84]

Wonka,

I walked in confident, looking and smelling good. to make a long story short at least this part. There will be no change in Spousal support due to our incomes. I had some bad info and it basically was a waste. My fault. No mortgage help because I make too much. W is not required to pay credit cards at this point. I will get credit for all I have paid down the road but it doesn't help the present.

After that was all over. we were left in the lobby alone so I decided to speak to my W. This how it went down. I said "W would you please wish FIL a Happy Birthday for me?" She said she would do that for I said Thank you. I then said "our friend wanted me to let you know that she still wants to be friends and might email you." She said Ok.

My W then said she would like to by the house and get a few things. I said" fine just text me when you are coming like I used to do for you. I said There actually is a lot of stuff in the living room for you to take also that I put there after you left." She inquired what and I honestly I cant remember. She said "my dolls?" I said" no those are still in the bedroom I am sleeping in I didn't touch anything in there."

She said OK and I just reiterated to her to text before she got there. W said it would most likely be on a Saturday. I said" fine it is still your house, I haven't changed the locks but I would like to be present."

All of this was pretty calm. Here it comes though. since it was going well I decided to ask about my cat.


I said "how is our Cat?" She said in a matter of fact way, "Unfortunately, she passed away 2 weeks before Christmas."


My jaw dropped I turned away and walked away for a couple step to compose myself. I said "Why couldn't you call me and tell me???"

She said "well with all this going on I didn't think I should contact you."

I said " W, I have no ill-will towards you. this(meaning support hearing and possible D) is what it is. WE need to separate certain things from our sitch."

She started telling me that our cat knew I loved her and it also happen very quickly and suddenly. I just said "I wish you felt like you could call me."

She started bring up when our dog passed away and I said "stop what you are saying you know you are lying right now. If you want the text of how that went I have them." she stopped talking about the dog and went into a couple of excuses of how the cat died.

At this time the L came back and I turned mine and said "W just told me the cat died. Lets go"

As we were waiting for the elevator I heard my W telling her L the story she was telling me. My L just looked at me and rolled her eyes.


Oh and my W finally got the car inspected 4 months late in the last couple days because it is good through Jan 16. Maybe she got it done because she possibly thought she may have to pay me something.


There was no yelling during the Cat discussion. just disbelief and a couple of a "this is BS" and a "I think you may need some help. I know this is stressful but that is not an excuse to act like this. We are adults for GOD'S sake let act like them please for both our sanity's."

What bothers me is if I didn't ask about our cat it would have never been said to me and I would still be thinking about how she might be missing home.

Did I do a good job even though the end was confrontational?


Because of the non action of the hearing. It is now most likely I will have to sell the house. actually this might hurt my W with getting money that she wants but she is steadfastly against letting me refinance the house while allowing her to remain a 50% owner.

One of my friends mentioned to me that my W is listing to a Christian Music station and is listening to Sermons on the computer. I hope she finds Peace by doing this. I know it helped me.

There a couple songs out that get me through this. I hope she listens to them and they strike a cord with her. I pray this is the case.


I have a possible email I would like to send my W concerning the house and her D wishes. I need to consult my L and then I will run it past you guys.