Devastated Husband; Need Advice...Part 2

[TLEE86]

Hi all, hope everything is going well. Pink/MCS, thanks for the check-ins.

Things have continued to go fairly well since coming back from GA on Saturday. A lot has happened.

For myself, started work again, and its taking a little getting used to these long hours again but it is definitely keeping me busy for the day. FINALLY got my household goods in today, so no more sleeping on an air mattress that my dog decided was a chew toy so it wasn't so much of an "air" mattress as just something between the floor and me. FIL had a heart attack Monday, he's fine now, but just...different/weird when its someone you know...There was a shooting on post yesterday, if you guys haven't heard it in the news already, so that was also...different. Heading to CA for 10 days in 2 weeks for work so more traveling ahead.

As far as W and I, nothing but positive interactions since Saturday. She's been regularly calling me in the mornings and usually texts me throughout the day. When she stops responding, I have been leaving it alone and just telling myself that I'll probably hear from her tomorrow and it seems to be a good method to follow, though I still get anxious sometimes.

Kinda weird but W has been regularly seeking me for advice for the past week. She asks for my opinion on different apartments she's looking at, career advice, making her feel better when her dad had his heart attack, and asking my opinion on this internship she is finally deciding to go to in 3 weeks.

This is where I struggle. Sounds like she is playing W with me and leaning on me for support, when as of now, we have not talked about R at all. Many people here would argue, she left, no emotional support. I agree, to an extent. But, talking about this to my DB Coach last week gave a different POV. She said, you're right, she's not making an effort to R right now, but who would you rather have her turn to, you or OM (EA)?

I guess that makes sense, but I'm still on the fence about it, but I shouldn't doubt DB Coach. Also keep thinking of ROBX post a while back, that when WAW is actually reaching out to you, talking to you, texting you, then STFU and enjoy it because this is the same person that said they wanted nothing to do with you 3 months ago. Don't think about R or bringing up M talks because its still way too soon.

On that note, W has been having a variety of crazy ideas lately-told me she wanted to join the Army and wanted to know if they would station us at the same place (WHAT?) But she's been texting me saying "Thank you for putting up with me," and just listening to her. Something I find ironic, and I called her out on it this morning, was that she has more than once told me "can you just please tell me what to do" regarding her career/apartment/internship. And I said I thought you hate when I tell you what to do. And she changes it to well, don't tell me what to do, just tell me what you would do if you were me.

...same thing there W...

She wants to be on her own, but she really doesn't want to be on her own...

I am slowly realizing that this is really going to be a long journey. I have said in my last post, i have some more growing to do, but W has a lot as well...Not much else I can do but keep doing what Im doing and see what happens, though it scares me like crazy to think about that since I have no idea what will happen...

Well, time to workout and take the dogs out. Thanks for stopping by