Mozza (7) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

Sent. Phew. Not easy. Thanks a lot Wonka, your endorsement helped me push the button.

I read the thread on boundaries. I think I understand the concept fairly well.

What's hard is the boundary itself. In my heart, I don't want to push my W away. I want to email her, banter, talk on the phone, meet her. I miss her. I'm very deliberate and when I chose her as my W, as the mother of my children, it was for good, my heart was in it entirely. I felt for her and told her words of love I never said before and never intended to say to someone else. I know I failed her and haven't been a good husband, but I thought we were a normal couple and I was still trying to make things better every day.

Now I need to pull my heart out of there, inch by inch, and I can't do it fast enough to avoid the hurt of seeing her gone and with someone else. I know I'll have to detach and focus on myself and I believe I'm making progress. But I'm not there yet. I still want to live my life with her, and I want 100% of my daughters and I want to be there for all three of them.

You've all seen how hard it's been for me to give up her Facebook posts, but I did it in a moment of resolve and it worked well for me. I dread FB much less now, I think about W a little less. I've taken this step today with the same resolve: not that I'm detached enough to do it, but that it will help me detach. Also, because it's the Method and I need to trust the process even when it's counter-intuitive even when it goes against my feelings.

I wish I felt better about it though. It takes time.

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She replied: "Very well. This way, we're clear."

I'm already dead.

Onward...