The A with the OW and the MLC will remain strong unless I give her the space and distance she thinks she wants. My presence around her right now -- even just being on opposite ends of the house -- just seems to increase her bitterness, anger, and the monstering behaviors.
This is all on W...no your problem nor did you bring on those behaviors. You, in her wacky mind, are the "barrier" to her happiness with the OW.
I know I brought baggage into this relationship and I can see how I contributed to some of our issues -- but those issues were of the "fixable" sort and not the real cause of this MLC.
What were the issues that you felt that you contributed to the M breakdown?
She has offered to allow me to go off on my own trip or "silent retreat" if I wish, and I am seriously considering doing that in mid-February. It will give me some time to do my own work and give her some time on her own with the kids -- which might be a heavy dose of reality for her re: so you really want to be a single mom with 3 young kids and lose out on what we, along with everyone else, viewed as an ideal sitch of 2 great moms who loved each other so much and who made such a great parenting team? I've been taking care of the kids nearly 100% on my own since late October (because of her depression, her habit of working late/coming home after I've put the kids to bed, and her late nights texting/chatting with OW which results in her sleeping late on the sofa while I am getting the kids and myself ready to leave to drop them off at school) and I am EXHAUSTED from doing it on my own for so long. I do need a break and she needs some major doses of reality.
Not a bad idea. Just gotta make sure that when you do go away, it's at time when the OW stays at her country of origin.
