By the way, I don't put a lot of hope in the "she'll miss me!" approach. When I broke up with my previous GF, I couldn't care less about any contact with her and her silence was perfect for me. I was in a new love (with W!). I do note however that my W seems to seek much more contact and banter, but I'm guessing it's for the kids' sake. And anyway: Stockdale!
Originally Posted By: Card29
Wowzer, A's make people stupid. WAW sure seems awfully concerned about the R that she stepped out of to have an A.
In her defense, she refers to the post-M relationship. We're through, we have separate lives, but we have kids so we should have a good R for their sake.
Originally Posted By: Card29
Mozza, HERE is the boundaries thread I tried to find. It was from Coach back in 2009. Read it ASAP!!!
I don't think you have to pretend like OM doesn't exist, you just don't want to mention or bring him up unless you absolutely have to. In this case, he and her R with him are the reason you do not want to have lunch with her. So you have to mention it. The key is, it's not about controlling her, it's about protecting you.
The primary reason why I don't want to have lunch with her is for my own sake because I need to detach. The second reason, which I can't tell her, is that she has to miss me at some point for reconciliation to become an option.
In her mind, the OM is irrelevant too. We're through because we're incompatible, period. We have kids to raise jointly -- will it be only possible if we're both single?? She thinks that meeting face to face is good for the co-parenting relationship.
Originally Posted By: Coach
Is being treated like a "roommate" how you want to continue on? Let go of the outcome and your thinking will clear up.
I don't get it. Let go of the outcome? The outcome is her reaction to my boundary setting? I'm dense today.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
