Nero, you live with a real covert controller (and not always so covert) Someone who wants what he wants to do, and doens't really consider how others feel about it.
And he has it made - an OW on the side, you on tenterhooks - he can be nice to you or not. This is a stuck situation which will continue indefinitely as far as I can see, while it is inherently unstable for you (and probably OW) your partner goes unchallenged, and my guess is he is loving it.
While he may be in MLC I suspect he was always a controller: the earlier possessiveness is also a sign of control. I could be wrong, but the question always remains - why does this situation feel like your best option? Are you growing and flourishing. We tell people to get a life, and with the GAL comes increased self respect, energy and optimism although it takes a while, and work.
Sitting out a MLC with the MLCerin the hope that all comes good now seems like the high risk option to me: while uncomfortable, it is getting out there and living your life gives you energy and and drive. It is a bit like jumping into icy water - after a while it is fun and maybe even a better way to live. Idk though, we are all different.
