It has been a hellish month for me. I was on service over the holidays and I was caring for very sick patients. It was very emotionally and physically draining. It's even more stressful when you don't have anyone to vent to anymore and have to come home with PMA every day. In the midst of this, My W developed diabetes. She told the whole world about it and the whole community is rallying around her. I, too, tried to be sympathetic and reassure her. She was appreciative. However, at one point she was asking me for advice while texting with OM. Then she gave my step-MIL my credit card number and they bought and installed a 48-inch TV over my fireplace mantle.
I do not feel like I should be treated this way: She really is having her emotional needs met by the OM/step-MIL and she is having her financial/medical needs met by me. She wants to spend as usual on tuition, summer camp, housekeeper, up-coming bar-mitzvah, therapists, new medical supplies, attorneys, and proceed with mediation. We were barely making ends meet before the A. I think it is financially impossible to do all this. Aside from her non-profitable home business, she is not working and is, as far as I can tell, completely free from 9 AM to 1 PM every weekday. I finally went to LRT and issued her an ultimatum. OM or Me. If it is me, then we move to a new town, she recommits, and she gets real help. If it is OM, then she tells me so, and finds a way to pay for mediation. I literally cannot afford to proceed - even with my doctor's salary. But I also am struggling here in purgatory. Naturally, she remains silent and has no incentive to choose at this point.
I feel like I am failing on all fronts. I am having a rough time detaching. GAL has been very difficult. We are not on speaking terms at all.
I do want to address some of your thoughts from a previous thread.
Quote:
I can understand how the lines get a little blurred with being head of the home, controlling your children, and being taught your W should submit to you.
For the record, I was never taught explicitly or implicitly that a W is supposed to submit to her H. I never felt that I "have to emotionally whip the W into submission". If I was chauvinist in any way, it did not stem from my religious world view.
