That's also good advice - they will have their own wounds and trust issues to recover from if we can even work this out.
His friend told me that the letter wasn't effective, but if I could look him in the eye and lay my cards out - tell him I love him and I would like to work it out, that may be what he needs to hear/feel. That's a lot different than listening and validating, that's pushing my wants...right?
I mean, there's so much over-analysis to be done here. What will push him away, what has/hasn't been working, not to mention the huge concerns I have with depression (possibly bi-polar depression) the meds, the family and work issues...I don't want my M back if he isn't wiling to do his part in change also - he has told me repeatedly he's not interested, so why can I gain (realistically) by showing up, listening, validating, etc? I trust his friend and his advice, but I worry it is maybe misguided.
It is definitely a tumble dry in there.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
