I'm not sufficiently at peace to agree that we both did the best we could because cheating (perhaps over several years) seems so far below the best that a reasonable person could do. But I see the point of laying the blame aside and finding peace where I am.
Your H isn't without his suitcase full of stuff-his nuclear family, his drinking, his affair, his need to save the young woman, his drive to work to the exclusion of family-he's running from a lot of stuff. So yes, I think he's doing the best he can with the tools he has. His box is pretty empty.
You get to decide whether it's enough or not.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
