Jim0987 #9 - Blackholes, cats and overanalysis

[jim0987]

So mundane anecdote of the morning. I was in a DIY store yesterday and walked past the light fittings. Now in our bedroom we have just a bog standard bare fitting. Neither W nor I like it but for whatever reason we never agreed, I didn't like the ones my W found she got annoyed that I was debating her when we both knew I don't really care. So the plain fitting stayed.

This is a sore point with my wife because it was a visual reminder right where she slept about how I made 'everything' a debate and a battle and she felt she was never put first. She has used this example loads of times including during our row on Sunday night.

So anyway I bought a new fitting - I liked it, it was on sale. W simply said 'so you got a new light then'

[rd500]

moving on, small but moving on and letting go the fear ! well done mate. rd

[edz]

Yup, well done.

One of the things I was trying to get at a few posts ago on maybe looking at swatches/paint etc is that - again in my case, sorry if Im making too many comments on my thoughts - we attach memories to things, designs, art, decoration. Generally thats good, what we want and no snap decisions should be made throwing stuff away that we may regret later.

But.

Trying to detatch I found it nigh on impossible at the flat, every direction was 100 memories and the decoration I couldnt easily change nor the layout. Im not suggesting you move but if you have complete (not renting) control over your environment then what you do to make the place Jim & kids will help with detatching and focusing on what you can control, your environment is a fantastic external reflection of you so to speak.

Anyway, well done on it. Hows the phone socket doing?

[jim0987]

Socket all done. Picked up a punch tool (hence trip to DIY store) took about 5 minutes.

It will be nice to remove that little reminder. As always my lack of detachment would be fascinated to know what my W thinks about it, if anything.

I never did care about the light particularly so I don't know why I didn't just let her pick. Why I had to have an opinion then defend it so strongly is something I need to figure out still.

Certainly at the time i never realised it was causing such upset but then I've said before I'm no good at recognising when I'm going too far or pushing too hard.

Im a bit limited on how different I can make the house, furniture arrangement is a but restricted.

And edz I always welcome your thoughts.

[edz]

Then you shall continue to get them....

How about furniture coverings (unless its a nice leather number - now theres something that can be taken the wrong way!) new lamp shades throughout (try the range or similar, I got all mine there for ~£4 or less each - of course I had none when I moved in here as I didnt want to face "have you taken the light fitting from x?!??!?!?")

New rugs - B&Q do loads for £50 which I'll be looking at when I actually have some more money and Arguuus (UK Joke) have soem good homeware sales on right now.

Bring out that inner Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, or, maybe, not

[jim0987]

So half hearted Lapland attraction then...

I need to completely refurnish the lounge and will need to put some pictures up (another sore point of my W - Seriously its not like I said no. I just wanted to discuss it. (Frustrated huff!!!))

She's finally taking responsibility for her own happiness so I suppose that's good even if I'm being jettisoned as part of the process.

So I guess there's a fair bit I can do but ultimately its going to be a big empty house most of the time.

[edz]

Lol, I wouldnt go with the Changing Rooms bohemian boudoir look either!

One introspective to another, be careful with thinking about "Jettisoned" your feelings are of course yours but I went down that cheeseless tunnel throughout august and, most shockingly, found no cheese

The Range have loads of nice wall canvasses at around £20 a throw, need some more of those here too. Have to admit tellingly the room Im happiest with in the house? Sons new room. Maybe you can get the kids involved in some new design and decoration ideas (within daddy designated limits - or hey maybe you always wanted a living room like the inside of the teletubbies hillside )

[jim0987]

Not figured out the Lounge at all, probably I'll decide when I buy a sofa. Its a big room but its long and this so I've never figured out how to make it homely

Both kids are getting redecorated bedrooms as soon as I can afford it

[edz]

long not too wide rooms - go with a sofa with an L return and stick a rug in the cubby it creates with one of the walls put the tv or if you have a focal point like a nice open fire make that central put a rug in the centre of the area it creates = warm and fuzzy

if you have a big gap at the other end you can make it storage or a big squish armchair you and the kids can pile in together.

Can you tell I've been doing a lot of room design in the past few months.

Oh and Gumtree is your friend!

[jim0987]

Interior design, technical support and cookery tips - edz the one stop shop for home improvement.

Got a fire place but the room isn't wide enough to do what I'd like. TV point is in one corner next to the French doors. There's really only one sensible place for the sofa unless I get two two seaters rather than one 3.

EBay has always served us well