I think he would meet with me. Before he left, we did well face to face. The no contact and emails, texts have driven us further apart. So, there is that. I think with the support of a close friend this is a good chance.
But I also look at his actions - a man that despite the emotions he still had - hell, he told me he loved me before he left - was still bent on distancing himself like this and laying the groundwork for a new life. It may not do any good. But I think I'd always wonder if I don't take his friend's offer?
If I go, I can go strong. Not crying, or pleading. Strong and soft. No expectations, because it really can't get worse (I should never say that). My mom is angry that I am pursuing this, someone who is so lost and self-consumed. She says that he's not going to give me the answers I want about wanting to work on our marriage and he's made it clear if I would just listen to him. My best friends say it's my marriage, fight for it. They all tell me to be realistic about what is likely, and not my best hopes though.
I had a nightmare before I woke this morning that he'd come back to our house, and instead of bones and flesh, when he took off his shirt there was a weird fungus that had turned everything to that foam filler you use around your house, and he was like, 'eh, no big deal, I'm sure it'll clear up.'
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
