Retreat

[LITB]

I am going to be persistent, even though he told me that nothing I say or do will convince him that any changes I make will be anything but temporary.

Let's turn this into a positive. I am challenging you to prove him wrong. Actions speak louder than words. Don't try to convince him with words. Remember, he is looking at your sitch from an unhappy perspective.

What makes you attractive?

I found it helpful to journal goals and interactions. I'd even go as far as suggesting to write things down from the validation thread that I linked for you. It always helped me remember things when interacting with my W.

I have a question I could use some advice on. He absolutely hates our house (it was mine before we were married), and he says I need to sell it because he is moving out and he can't afford to support two households. He knows that I will have to move in with my parents. I just don't know what to do. I feel like if I move in with my parents, it will be really hard for us to reconcile, especially because my parents would be very upset about us separating. I can't afford to pay for the house myself but I could take out some money from my 401k to get my by for a few months. Any thoughts?? I asked him if he wanted me to get a realtor and he said no, but that he wanted us to "make a plan". But when we tried to talk about it we didn't really get anywhere.

I'd suggest not getting too far ahead of yourself. You probably feel like your world is swirling. Slow down and breath. You don't need to tackle the world all at once.

Don't push anything on the house yet. If he brings it up. Simply let him know that you are thinking about it. No more, no less. If he pushes the issue, again let him know that you are thinking about it. It is a big decision that you do not want to rush.

I hope you brought your patience with you, because this is a marathon, not a sprint. You don't want to rush it. Fast is slow, and slow is fast.