Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD - pt. 2

[gogofo]

I can't help but feel like there is a pattern here. When our lives, and in particular hers, get stressed we seem to drift away and she feels that there isn't much hope for us.

This has happened at the beginning of the school year, mid-term, and now the beginning of the spring semester. I don't think it is the only thing going on, but I does not seem to be coincidental.

What is confusing to me is the planning for the future of houses, schools, jobs, etc. and then her feelings that there is not a connection between us.

I feel like that when I make progress or prove changes that she resists them or gets hurt by them because they were not there before in our R. I get frustrated and think that we should assess how things are now, not what was lacking before.

She said that when she sees the changes she feels that she is on the outside looking at them and they don't affect her; my feeling is that she is walled off and rejecting them.

I don't quite understand how she can acknowledge that there are changes and they are good and positive, but then not enjoy or accept them as positive. My opinion is that if you look at our R now that we are building something great, if she would just drop her guard and participate with me we could make great strides. I know when she does and it feels great, but then she puts the wall back up.