JYou're probably right that she's traveling to see the other person. And you're also right to just let it happen. The more you resist, the more she is able to paint you as her adversary in her mind. Let her do her thing, and allow yourself to see her for the real person that she is revealing herself to be.
Interesting update -- since I have been agreeable to her request for the "silent retreat" she has been very friendly to me. Not overly friendly, but very friendly when discussing "business" (like plans for the kids upcoming birthdays). I know that she is on the phone with OW in the early morning hours (3 -4 a.m.) because I can hear her talking on the phone (obviously, I am still having some sleeping problems) -- has to be early a.m. because of timezone differences b/c OW is in diff country. I am also growing more and more certain that the "silent retreat" is a romantic getaway with OW which will shift the EA to a PA.
However, I can see how being agreeable to her request has diminished the "adversary" role as you described it. When I don't get in her way or prevent her from doing something she wants to do, she doesn't act like a monster around me. Just a minor positive sign because what she wants (thinks will make her happy) is to be with OW and move me out of the house. Trust me -- I know the direction we are still headed and we are a LONG way off from any hope of reconciliation. But it is encouraging to see that my behavior and actions can influence her behavior more than I originally thought when all of this began.
As I said before... I am definitely working on 180 and GAL -- for my own sake and my kids' sake -- praying for miracles, working hard on myself, working on having the patience I need for this, and trying to detach and let go with love...
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
