barely holding on - 6

[u-turn]

Justin - thank you so much for this. Unfortunately your post that I am now replying to didn't show up until yesterday. 6 days after you wrote it. It would have certainly helped me.

It still does help though - I do understand and believe this to be all be true.

By the way (and I don't know if you have read and commented recently - I'll find out in a couple days). I did tell her that I am through and she can and should leave. I used the simplified script and didn't get into my feeling at all. Though it was one of the hardest things that I have ever said to someone, I felt good about it - I was ready.

She didn't want to know why - I am sure she knows.
But - after a couple days of throwing a bunch of excuses and reasons to not do this, she changed.

I am still dubious about her changes because they were very quick. I want them to be real. I want her to still believe that I am through and unless the changes are real, I don't want to be involved otherwise.

Basically I want to show her that "I WILL NOT HAVE MY HEART BROKEN AGAIN BY YOU". Now - I think that sounds weak to me, but maybe she saw it as strength.

When I stood up to her and this situation - at first she she had a small smile on her face and basically said "fine". But that changed by a couple of days later.

This is just a quick re-cap, but wanted to thank you for helping me find the right words.