I thought everything was okay...(Part 2)

[edz]

MCS / Jim

this is a difficult one. Jim you know the time I've had so far and theres a long road ahead, MCS not sure if youve read through my thread(s) but as a precis I didnt have the best relationship with my s due to distancing with my w and the usual nonsense we convince ourselves is important until we realise it isnt. One of the main reasons W quoted in leaving was the (lack of) relationship with my s and him not knowing where he stood with me. I've worked very, very hard on that and have gone from w keeping s away for 4 weeks to him now staying with me at least once a week for a night, very occasionally 2.

Anyway thats background but my point is that w is very, very controlling as she puts out feelings that she's still being convinced the obvious changes in me are permanent and that those that affect s wont flip back. Any time I raise discussion on s visiting for more than one night she says she doesnt want "to set a precedent" for him (always emphasised) so he wont pester her to stay with me. Interestingly whenever the subject of week on/off is raised its by w who then strikes it down as being in the far future. Me I've only mentioned it the once way,way back in August in a fog when I hadnt seen him.

I suggested councelling for s, offered to set it up and us all go so it was clear this wasnt an agenda thing, no dice from w.

So enough of my waffling, I think your idea of councelling sounds good, keep it very open and I'd suggest - only suggest - that you let the councellor and kids drive the discussion that way its clear this is only about them and their wellfare and happiness which is clearly what everyone wants.

Only my .02 of course.

Take care

Edz