OK then! We'll see how that goes, but it won't be said that I was not a disciplined DBer!
So she pulled another one tonight. Emailed my parents as soon as she got home with the kids to ask them if they really gave them 7up (yes, the soft drink) while they stayed with them. Her email is very cordial but fairly long (125 words) and doesn't hide her irritation. 7up is too sweet and not good for children, according to her (yet, the kids tell me about all the chocolate that OM feeds them, but that's irrelevant...). She's been a bit of a control freak about the kids when they're not with her, but this goes further.
I told my parents not to reply, that I would contact her, saying we spoke. Here's the email I have in mind.
"Thanks for the invitation. I'll pass though.
My parents told me you emailed them about the 7up. Yes, the girls drank a bit of it, mixed with grape juice, at Christmas, on New Year and once when Maya threw up. It was diet, so there was no sugar. I was aware of it and had already talked to my parents. I don't encourage it, but even the regular type is no sweeter than juice or chocolate. We should trust each other when the girls are under our care and if there's a concern, let's discuss between ourselves."
By the way, this is really a change in tone for me in the sitch. I've reacted very little to her random emails in the last few weeks, but I've never declined her invitations or told her to mind her own business. I'm concerned this is bringing me back to the "business" tone that made her feel neglected in the M. But then again, deep down I really am a wet noodle with her...
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
