Mr. Bond, Caliguy, NGuy, and Wonka (you know you LUV me...come on!)
The good news is that you'd all make good attorneys, because mine told me the same exact thing. So if nothing else gained from these posts, you all might want to consider Law School! I actually sent my Atty a draft of what I was considering, and I was given praise for being able to write such a sincere note that had zero anger and only appealed to a sense of reason. I am happy that I at least wrote the draft and know that it was done right. To all / everyone's point, am not dealing with people that are sincere or have a sense of reason, or we'd probably not have our two families in this train-wreck of a situation. Regardless -- THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE.
So as long as I have your attention, a little bit about my day. Like normal, since the separation began, I woke up at 4:30 AM. Don't know why am doing this, just know it keeps happening. I am sleeping really well now, aside from that, Can go to bed @ 10:00 PM and sound and quiet...until 4:30...like a GD clock. Anyway, sometimes I get something to drink, use the potty, or whatever but am able to go right back to sleep.
This morning, after I fell back asleep, I had THE BEST dream about my girlfriend from college. We were somewhere (hey it was a dream, cut me some slack) and we were happy and laughing as we laid in bed together (fully clothed nothing graphic I promise) and we were getting back together. She was SO beautiful and her smile and laugh seemed so real and vivid. She rolled over from me and I rubbed her back and she was so happy, I could see the smirk on her face. Then, she stopped, rolled back toward me, and pointed a finger at me with a smile and said "but we can't have sex for two months because it has been so long and we don't want to rush this! Okay?" (with a another smirk). "Of course!" I told her. "I am just so happy to be with you again". We laughed and kissed and curled up together....and then MY DAUGHTER started calling me "DADA....where...ahhhhhh....you?? DAAAADDAAA...?" I woke up and it was seven o'clock. I have been in a great mood ALL day for this.
I have questioned my psyche here, wondering if I was projecting an need from my W onto the notion of a past love, yada, yada, because I am such a cerebral dude and all. Then I stopped thinking about it and just enjoyed that time I got to spend with my past love, who by the way, was always the greatest love of my live until I met my W. We were in college, we didn't do everything right, we were young but SHE was such a great girl. My folks (especially my now passed father) LOVED her, and I just thought she was such a beautiful person. She was beautiful aesthetically but to me she was the most gorgeous girl because of the person she was (and probably still is). Great girl, great laugh, and was always there for me. Most of my four years of college and little after were with her, and I was lucky to have that time with her. Crazy to think I am giving her this praise after twenty years and she has no idea. What a strange world we exist in.
So I had THAT on my mind for most of the day, talked to one of my college buddies who knew my (college) GF well and told him about the dream. He thought that was great. We laughed and he agreed how awesome she was and that everyone (all of our friends) loved her...etc...etc...etc. So work was great with that on my mind, had a very productive day, then went to my buddies son's basket ball game. Now at his house, banging out this Tolstoy-like novel / post and thinking about bed.
