moving on

[Ahoy]

Thanks guys! rppfl, it's funny because a friend of mine who is about half a year ahead of me in the divorce process called to tell me that his XW called and tried to beg him to take her back -- three months after the D was final (she left because she was interested in another man). So I'm not at all surprised that your H is flirting. The problem with narcissists is that they always want your attention -- be it positive or negative. The only way to stay sane is to back away as quickly and cleanly as possible. Best of luck with that!

My H and I have been slowing preparing our D14 for the upcoming move while keeping things vague. She knows that change is coming, but I've told her that when we know what our plan is we will sit down and discuss it together as a family. For the time being, H is pursuing job options elsewhere and I am trying to figure out what is best for my economic stability.

The bottom line, of course, is that I'm moving back to my home state, and want D14 to come with for school. i think H will agree because otherwise her presence interferes with his dating life (something he'd never admit but is nonetheless true).

We've both told her that regardless of what happens we will be sure to both have ample time with her, and keep our relationships with her strong, and that we both love her unconditionally.

D14 cried a bit tonight. She said she was crying because H said to her that he still loved many things about me, but we have too many differences. These differences are supposedly in the way we run our households -- something all couples face. I told her that for most marriages, that kind of thing is something to be worked on, not a reason for divorce. However, having a girlfriend when you are married is a reason for divorce, and that is the real reason why we are moving down this path. I know that's treading into risky territory, but I don't think my D14 should grow up thinking that you should throw away a marriage because one person likes to have the dishes clean and the bills paid and the other one could care less. Sigh.