Wow, everybody. I've been too afraid to post on my thread because I've been feeling so down. But oh my goodness did I need to read what you all told SS, and what SS just said up above! I was literally reading this feeling like it was written to me. This board is so amazing. I am struggling so much in this new year with the fear of a divorce, which is making me run from my fear instead of toward it. But I love what Maybell said about not moving toward divorce but toward the person I would be if I didn't fear the divorce. I want to be strong for my kids. I want to be someone they can look up to. I want to go back to working full-time in my industry, which is my passion and one of the main reasons I went to college in the first place. But yeah, I have this stupid fear of "Oh no! What if I get a full-time job and move on and H just files for divorce?" Well, so what! Then he was going to file either way.
And, SS, one of the things I've had to do to get through the tough days is to remind myself to take this one day at a time. I sometimes hate living like this, but I don't know how else to survive. On the way home from the dentist today I picked up deli sandwiches for an easy dinner for the kids and we had a little picnic in the living room, which they loved. Tonight one of my favorite new shows is on TV. It's so cold tonight and we're in a nice, cozy, warm house. This is today. Tomorrow might be different. But today I'm OK and I'm not going to think too much about the future, but what's right in front of me, literally.
Hope I didn't hijack too much!
Last edited by Lorelai; 01/07/1502:07 AM.
Me: 38 H: 43 Kids: 2,4 T10 M6 BD: 1/14 11/14: H moves out
