Happy new year my dear! One way I do it is to send the message and then delete it from my records so I can't see if they read it. Does that make sense?
Not useful if you like to keep a history but useful for detaching! Send then delete, can't check if they read it and can't obsess as much...
If you turn off your read receipts it still shows theirs.
I totally get what you are describing with the reading your messages in the middle of the night. Like you said it could be any manner of things: different time zone, out partying for his b day, woke up in the middle of the night because he was depressed and went to sleep at 7pm... Who knows!
