Wife Walked Away 10 Weeks Ago

[25yearsmlc]

Hello mahhhty,

I am hanging in there, thank you for asking! How about yourself?

Yes, I have read Sandi's 37 rules and have them printed out. They are very helpful. I try to go for a long walk daily, and I love most sports, especially ice hockey. Years ago, I used to play and coach. I recently went ice skating for the first time in years. Just yesterday, I sent my WAW a little text asking how she is doing.

I understand this^^. I really do.

But are you in the midst of settling things for a divorce or do you think she filed to "make a clear statement" and to wake you up?

Also the next part of the conversation means you missed a MAJOR point about Getting A Life, which is that you do it for YOU and NOT for them...don't tell her what your GAL are and fill her in as if it's done to impress her.

These will come across as "tactics" to win her back, (which will not last) and not as real permanent changes.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

She said her stomach was hurting her (from stress, she thought) otherwise ok, and also asked my why I was asking. I wrote back, "Because I know you suffer almost daily from physical/emotional pain (she has MS) and I care about your well-being." Eventually, she responded, I hope all is well with you.

**Also if you could write in smaller paragraphs, it makes it much easier to read. Thanks!


I replied, "I prefer to focus on you, but I am doing well. Thanks for asking. I have a little surprise for you..

Did you sign on, ONLY b/c you believe it'll matter to HER? IF so, it probably won't be viewed the way you want it to be. Especially since you made it clear it was about HER and NOT about you... or how interesting AND how interestED in the world you are...that's the portrayal you need to create AND fulfill (i.e. make it real)

I got my name on a waiting list to coach kids hockey." (I finally remembered that was one thing she really loved about me.) My the way, I am doing this because I WANT to, not to try to win my wife back. Does anyone think she'll see this as a positive change? She replied, "I that's great that you've put your name on a coaching list. I hope you don't have to wait too long. That would be great for you. Good work." That is her exact quote. Thoughts anyone?


See above. Try to cultivate an air of mystery and NOT tell her any of this anymore until IF and when she asks...

AND recall 2 things. YOU GAL means that 1) you are an interesting man and a good catch

AND

2) you are not being held back by HER illness, in case she feared you were.

What do you think SHE would say if SHE were here, about why she felt the need to leave?




Thanks so much group! You are an inspiraton.

Bob