Here's some advice straight from the horse's mouth:
Originally Posted By: Michele Weiner Davis
Sometimes, even after you've done all the right things, your spouse still refuses to stop seeing the OP. (...)
However, you shouldn't do it unless you are prepared to end your marriage because that's just what it might do. However, it might serve as a wake-up call to your spouse. It's hard to predict what will happen.
Tell your spouse that you love her enough that you are prepared to let go, then back off completely. Don't spend time together. Don't speak on the phone unless it's about the children. Have as little face-to-face contact as possible. Don't do nice things anymore. Don't call. Don't email. Don't initiate contact of any sort. Don't allow your spouse to feel that there is a relationship between you any longer. Continue this emotional cutoff until your spouse gets that there will be no relationship of any sort until and unless the OP is completely out of the picture.
We've been telling you ^^^ this in so many different ways....myself, Sandi, Starsky, and others.
You're holding back because of your fear. Of your W's reactions.
