Not feeling like I have been doing a lot of DB lately. Been trying to stay away from the board as it tends to get me down. I no longer have much hope that W or STBXW will change her mind. Or maybe it is that I no longer hope for me, but I still feel an overwhelming sadness for the kids as I always hoped they would have a "perfect" family.
Not too sure if I even love my W that much anymore. After the spew and the stuff that has happened over the last couple months it has slowly taken its toll. I still feel like if she did turn around I would give it the best try for the kids. But there would be no expectations.
I guess all I am working on is the healing. Trying to be the person that I want to be. One that is genuine, caring, loving, loyal and just good to everyone. And that my kids, friends, and hopefully someday someone special will see that. This is all that I think I can do right now.
M:35 W 31 D's:6, 4 & 2 T:9 M:7 ILYBNILWY- Mar/14 DP Served Dec.17/14
