I'm sorry that you're here under very trying circumstances, but you'll find a great deal of support with a cast worthy of Lifetime movies.
I am a gay woman who had my own MLC who BD on Ms. Wonka's birthday (yeah, I didn't win the Spouse of the Year award) and then Ms. Wonka got involved with OW. We split more than 10 years ago that was extremely painful and traumatic. Like you, I experienced rapid weight loss in the first month after Ms. Wonka moved out. Plus had a pretty severe case of PTSD with horrible flashbacks for about 2 straight months.
There was a gay poster who DB'd brilliantly who is one of the many DB Success Stories and her name is RealityTrip (RT). Cadet, can you please dig up RT's last thread and post the link here? Thanks much! Mwah.
Now let's focus on your situation (sitch).....shall we?
Originally Posted By: Jer2911
We go on Monday to our first joint therapy session to begin discussing the terms of the separation (my request). I have requested this -- and will make other demands -- under the argument that I am not being given a choice in the outcome, therefore, I will have some choice in the process and terms of the separation.
SLOW DOWN. If you don't want a S, then do not initiate anything. I suggest that you drop this therapy session. Step back and read the DR book in addition to the MLC forum. One thing remember is the MLCer is feeling a ton of pressure which is why they run and aren't interested in therapy because they don't think that the problem lies with them. In their eyes, you are the problem. In their mind, they finger you as the source of their unhappiness. Why? Because you are the 'tangible' source that they can SEE with their own eyes.
Let me reassure you that it is NOT you that is causing W unhappiness. It is all on her. I should know because I've travelled on the MLC mother ship known as U.S.S. Wonkie. I've detailed my own MLC experiences in a thread titled A Voyage Into the MLC Mind. Cadet, can you please help out once again by posting the link to that particular thread? Thanks.
I am also meeting secretly with a friend of mine who practices family law specifically focused on the issues faced by same-sex couples.
I think it is a good idea to meet with a L to get some information. Knowledge is power. It doesn't mean that you have to act right away. File the information away and go about your business.
Do you and W own the house? Are both of your names on the mortgage? Stay in the house. If W has a problem, let her be the one to move out.
Get out and GAL....what are your plans this weekend?
