Can't believe I'm here...

[Jer2911]

Thank you all for the support. As I read these messages I felt hugs coming from my computer screen and it brought tears to my eyes.

I am determined to get through this and be a stronger, better version of myself -- regardless of the outcome.

Our joint therapy session yesterday was tense and emotional (as I expected). We go again next Monday. As I suspected, she wants to buy me out of my portion of the house -- and had already picked out some houses for rent in our neighborhood. I just said I need time to review my options -- but also stated my concern about letting her co-sign a lease for me right now... Would prefer to not move out until I am fully employed and have no need for anyone to co-sign. She doesn't want to wait that long.

This morning she asked me if it would be okay if she went away for about a week at the end of this month for a "silent retreat" -- meaning off-the-grid. I said yes. She started crying and said she is just in a really dark place right now and needs to get away from everything in order to "get my head right". For the record, this is the first time she has cried or shown any real emotion around me since BD.

I was very agreeable to her request. I don't know if it is really a retreat or if she is planning to travel to spend a week with the OW and move the EA to a PA. I'm at a point where I don't care -- I can't stop her from going to meet the OW in person if that is what she wants to do... I'm guessing this is a step towards me detaching?

Anyway -- thank you all for the support! It does help and is so appreciated :-)