Can't believe I'm here...

[Ahoy]

Jer, sorry you are facing this. Know that you are not alone and have plenty of company here. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to take care of yourself, which is good. You were right in that you need to examine your attachments (to the house and your partner) and be prepared to let those go. But you're right to fight for a role with the children, as this is about responsibility and unconditional love, and you should absolutely pursue what is in their best interests.

I understand how hard it is to relinquish the illusion of the life we once led. But it is exactly that -- an illusion. We were not given access to what was really going on behind the scenes, and now we have to make a dramatic shift in our lives. You will come through it fine. The one thing I can say is that you are likely to feel quite differently about your partner in a few months. I'm six months out from having my life ripped apart, and I can honestly say that I'm now happier and prepared for independence, and I've grown in ways -- for the better -- that I could not have predicted. You will too. Stay strong.