I have changed (I do not believe that I was that bad off anyway). I am now more loving and gentle, lost 15 lbs (funny how easy that was) and am OK with the situation (rarely get emotional to the point of crying in front of anyone). I have empathy for her (truly love her), understand that this is a difficult situation for her (but am holding fast to what I need)and have a good support system in place for me and the kids (they do not know yet).
I have stated things like "I am not standing in your way of happiness...but you must decide on what you want..this person (me) that you have seen in the last 6 months is the real me, I am sorry that you did not see him earlier", "if you stay we must begin to show affection in front of the kids because it is not fair to them and I know we have it in us, if you cannot because of what ever reason (?OM, never had it in you (???M-18 T-21??) then you need to take the steps you need (leave) to find out what is important to you but I do not know if I will be here if you decide to return", "You say that the intamacy is gone for you and that you donot think that you can find it while we live in the same house but obviously enjoy it when it happens - I say that two people with all that we have can work through any issues...start this journey that you feel you need to take.
I still make her lunch daily, spend enjoyable time with her, and recipricate when she reaches out to me...probably wrong in many of your eyes...but it is who I was and who I am. If she does not realize this before she moves out then I believe she will afterwards if not, I have a tremendous amount to offer someone else and look forward to meeting them in the future.
BF - you have been S for 4 years?? does it get easier with time - how did the kids take it?
LITB - I will hold off legal representation as long as possible as long as we are civil and I am not being taken advantage of - mistake ??? Maybe but I am hopeful not.
I find great comfort in this site, thanks to you all
W-43 H-41 M-19 T-21 Kids S-15 D-13 S-11 OM/EA/PA suspected 7/4/14 Talk of Seperation 7/5/14 Slept in same bed, held each other nightly until 2/1/15 W moved out 2/1/15 I am moving on
