Twinmom, I'm The Queen Rug Sweeper. One Christmas just a few years into the M, I found receipts for lingerie and jewelry that I didn't get for Christmas. H gave me a story and I believed him. After a couple of kids, H had an email EA with my best friend. The he started looking at porn. All swept under the rug, because I thoughts that's what a good W was supposed to do, swallow hard and get over it and believe that her H actually did love her, and it's what's best for the kids anyway. It didn't work. Now he's having a full-blown A and has left me.
If my H walked in the door, begged forgiveness and said he wanted to work on the M, I'd be skeptical. I'd be even more wary of him if he admits he's afraid of the work. It would be really easy to take him back, but.......I personally wouldn't without some show of effort on his behalf. Because I think he'd just leave again when things got hard.
That's my $.02. Everbody has an opinion. You have to do what's right for you. Good luck.
You have to do what's right for you. Good luck.