Dude, don't focus on her, keep your focus on you. At this moment in time your W is lost to you. She is not the same person you knew and loved. She does not love you at this time, and you have to be aware that you are nothing more than a coworker or a neighbour. Midnboggling, Crazy I know, but the sooner you face it, the better for you. Remember, DBing is not a sprint, it's a marathon, do not expect short term rezults with regards with your W, because it is going to take a while...
Focus on yourself, get a life (GAL) make her curious what is up with your life, read and reread Sandi's rules and then read them again (at least weekly). Be the best dad in the world, your W will notice. Do not try to change for her and ask her if she saw the changes, change for yourself, live the change.
Do not force things with your W, limit contact with her, but be friendly and upbeat, even if it is tearing you up inside. At times you will feel overwhelmed, come to the boards to vent, you are among friends, and each and every one of us knows how you feel, your friends and relatives do not.
Stay strong my friend, your kids need you. Be prepared for things to be worse for a while, but it will get better. Detach, detacth, detach... It will not help to bring your W back, but it will help you retain your sanity. Do not try to understand what your W does, it defies logic and it will only mess with your mind...
