The fear you ask? Oh I have so many. Being alone. Unloved. Without a partner. Financially strapped. Being divorced. Being a divorcee. Selling the house. My daughter being a child of divorce. Dating (barf). Trusting anyone again. Loving anyone again. Letting my guard down again.
Ok, I get those fears. I had them all. Lettered in them. Got the tee shirt, even. You are getting so far ahead of yourself it is keeping you stuck.
You cant do this if you do that. Trust in you, S. Believe in you. You will be happy again if you choose to be. Finding joy in your life is a choice. It doesnt hinge on him. It really doesnt. Because the thing is that in order to love you have to love you. In order to feel joy, you have to look within.
If you put all of that on him, it is a terrible burden. If you do that, you do yourself a disservice. You wont ever be fufilled if your happiness is contingent on someone else. You just wont.
Someone should enhance our life, not determine it.
Find you, S. Find your worth. Find what makes you laugh. Who do you want to be? Be that person every day. Some days you make it, some you dont, but that should always be the goal.
You will get through this and come out the other side if you do the work. I promise you that. It is going to be hard, I am not going to lie. But man, the rewards are amazing.
Leave him to himself, S. Let him figure himself out. You work on you.
