Really too late....

[lost18]

H was always really good about doing stuff around the house. Looking back he didn't clean the toilets or showers but he always cleaned the kitchen, did laundry and would mop along with outside stuff, handyman stuff etc.

He became resentful because he felt I didn't appreciate or respect what we have. 2 years ago Feb he came home from overseas and spent his 2 weeks home putting in hardwood floors in our two front rooms. I had ripped up the carpeting and boxed everything up. A year later when he came home again those boxes were still sitting in one of those rooms.

Even when we did fun things, like go out on the boat or go camping, he did most of the work to get ready, and I let him. Eventually when we stopped doing those things (partly because he was working overseas) he told me they weren't fun for him anymore.

I do get why he is/was resentful of me, he tried to tell me but I didn't hear him because of his approach maybe, maybe because I wasn't getting my needs met and those things weren't that important to me. I kept telling myself it wasn't a big deal, not deal breakers. To him I didn't care about, appreciate or respect HIM.

Funny thing is I get a little resentful of him NOW when he's sitting on the couch watching tv and I'm mopping around him, or whatever it is. I of course don't say a word. It seems he always turns around and does something to help.