Awesome feedback! Thank you very much because it is clear you're addressing my question of 'is this just me going through my angry phase?'. I would concede there is anger. One of my biggest problems is that I've NEVER had a place for adulterers. I had two +20 year VERY close friends from college do this to their wives and I gave them (both) the burn notice. Haven't spoken to them since. It might not be my place to judge anyone who cheats on their spouse but I just don't see any value in a relationship with someone who does that. Now I am married to one. Holy Sh*t...talk about irony.
Its funny, I don't know why I feel this way but I have for a long time. I never really had any commitment issues and I come from a married family (i.e. mum + dad never did the big D. Did loose my father when I was 22 year old though). I guess that I have always just put a high value on marriage and what that really means to exchange those vows. Probably why I waited until I was 38 before getting married? Seeing friends marry and divorce when we were still in our 20's made my feel like (they) were making a mockery out of marriage. It bothered me, the marriage, divorce and getting married again a few years later...WTF! THAT is what dating is for. I digress.
I am eye to with you everything else, not budging a bit (180) and doing my thing. Making myself happy, more each day (it is not easy at first) LOVING the time with my daughter, and digging in at work and church Sunday. *FOR THE RECORD* I went to confessional awhile back and confessed that I had neglected my marriage for a long time and asked for forgiveness. ONE hail Mary. Further, the priest in confession that day is also the same one I have been visiting with for guidance so it is not like the person on the other side didn't know what I was talking about. I have a clean mind with my faith and where I stand there.
I also see eye-2-eye with you on 'your wife is in a bit of a life crisis'. I agree with you so much that I can't think of anything else to say, there. You are R-I-G-H-T on target. I miss MY wife, before the woman that emerged over the last year or so. I would have to confess if that woman, the woman I remember as my wife, started to show up a little around here I might be receptive to that. Down side, I envision that happening around the same time as the next Halley's Comet.
And yes, I now know and EMBRACE that (1) this is not really about me (2) I am not responsible for her happiness and (3) it is not my fault that she is doing what she is doing. DONE, DONE and DONE.
Thank you VERY much Karma(12). Super insightful. I knew I was onto something when I saw your 'poster' name. One of our two (amazing + super) dogs is named Karma. She's a good girl.
QUESTION FOR ANYONE -- I found a 'separated and divorce' support group that is meeting this Wednesday at a nearby town. Anyone have any luck or advice with those? I am thinking about attending.
*SIDE NOTE* I hope folks get some sense of relief from reading my posts because I truly am 'wearing it on my sleeve' and I write this way to show my easy side, which is hard to see sometimes.
