It sounds good, very business oriented and not offensive, just keeping things checked and getting to some level of agreement.
With this email, she can come back and say she does not agree with something, or she will agree and move on.
The bottom line here is that you gave her a strong resolution when you left, in my opinion it was DB by the book. It is LRT. Then she did all the screaming, but you post that she said she would be willing to work on the M/R.
You took the decision do not give her a chance. Once she saw that you put resistance, she let go. Would it make a difference if she would insist even further. This woman was married to you and maybe she knows you wouldn't back up.
Now you say you are frustrated with her actions. I know it's very difficult to deal with the fact that your W has OM in the picture. But, if you are trying to recover your R, work on your M, then it's time to face that it is happening and you may or may not have a chance to make her fall in love with you all over again.
That means you would need to forgive and forget. It's a very intense situation, but you will need to calm down and resolve what you want, what are your priorities, what can you forgive and what will you take aside for the sake of you M?
Let's face it. Most people here have partners that had, are having A, it's in our face and we feel worse then garbage, but if we are here, we need to get real and have a clear image that if we reconcile, there will be work to do, lots of wounds to heal, but it is possible.
When you just started posting, you were told patience is the key to success. Detachment is another weapon used here that has been working for many folks. It's one of the hardest things to do but we are all working towards to get better.
Center yourself, give yourself, be vulnerable. You need to work on your fear, anxiety and then as much as you write here to vent, it won't always show in your actions.
Being angry is not helping you. Pushing your W away is not working for you. Stop the stubbornness and reevaluated the reasons you came to this forum. Are you still willing to go the extra mile to reconcile with W?
I am not intending to tell you all you are doing is wrong, and that setting specific boundaries are not right. I think you are right. But you need to stand by your choices, if you chose to push her away, then you may have consequences.
What can you do that will calm you and give you some time to think about your whole sitch and set up all your priorities and even try to calculate the outcome of your every move.
Maybe you can share here with us all. Calibri has been your amazing coach, Wonka is giving you solid advice. Listen to people that all what they want is to help you and see you happier.
Do you like meditation? Are you reading some books to help you to focus on yourself? And, what is so wrong if your W comes to your condo and spend some time with your S?. You would have some opportunity to show you have been changing.
Did you reread Sandy's rules again?
It seems that lately you just want to blow it all up. Go back and start all over. Friendship says more then hate, even when we want to hate the WAS.
And HP, I don't say it just to you. As I write I am telling myself everything, word by word. I too, want to kill my H, maybe make a stew from his guts. But I think that until I am done, I have the faith things can turn around. Until then I will keep showing him who I have became and how it would be possible to have a new R/M.
Think about honey, you can do it. You are strong, you are just burned out, stressed out, give yourself some time to think.
