Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #4

[HPoirot]

Hello Calibri. You are very insightful. Your post hit me very hard.

It was monstrous to me that my W let me leave with our son. When I first told her we were leaving... she did fight hard in the only way she knew how... screaming and crying and threats. "You can't take my baby!" kind of things. Begging me to let her visit the condo, begging for Christmas together. Days and days of that. Even offered to fix our M... told S12 she would... then she folded, took it back, and sobbed.

Then she stopped.

Seems like she talked with her IC who seemed to say S12 and I were the priority and I was in the driver's seat and she should let me go. That somehow it was OK for us to get away from her. Agreed to everything. Then she stood there and let her family walk out the door. No screaming no nothing. Even said, if her business takes off, that I could take S12 to Florida and she would fly in now and then to visit. I can't believe that.

So many times she threatened to leave but she never did. Planned to live with us until the summer. Go on a spring break trip together. But she didn't have to break up her family to go on her way b/c I snooped and forced it and broke us up for her. What would have happened if I let her live here with us?

Now she's agreeing to not see her son on Christmas. Not see her son on his birthday. Suggesting 14 nights with me and 5 nights with her.

I'm angry.

Now with her new schedule this month... My crossfit evenings are gone. My Friday tango is gone. Now I have to consider asking S11 to stay at W aunt's just so I can GAL. He doesn't want to go.

And yes... how is W spending all this time?

How can I work with her Calibri? How can I act friendly after all this? How can I not truth dart her to death every time I see her? How can she stand to be near me or much less our son? How can she stand herself?

Yes I know... that's all mind reading and mind chatter and doesn't matter.

Just keep going and I will.

I'm tired Calibri. My phone rings and I'm tired.

Another request for help... another change... more money please.

Yes that is me giving her more power than she has.

It's just how I feel right now.