Ok. Been having problems posting to forum.gonna try again. Here's my story, 4 years back W started acting "differently", I was very suspicious and did some snooping, I found evidence an affair. Needless to say my world was crushed . Didn't know what to do. I confronted her on it and basically what happened next was(in hindsight ) best case scenario. I received instant total remorse and guilt, NC call right then and there, and total transparency. Although my life was turned upside down for the coming days/ weeks/ months ahead it was definitely reassuring seeing her focus on changing things. I wanted for us to go to MC but she talked me out of it and decided to do IC on her own. What came out of that was some vague issues on her end, but nothing to have to do with me. The following year was one of the best years of our marriage, seemed to be likenewlywed stage again . We seemed to have learned from things and were taking the right steps forward . But One year led to the next and I started to get lax in our R. Busy at work, busy at life and forgetting what was important for us to keep going.
So this past Oct my senses started stewing again and sure enough the last thing I EVER thought would happen did. Another A. I confronted her again and was waiting for the same result.... Not this time. Turns out she's been "unhappy" , doesn't want to be "content" and feeling "unfulfilled ". she is still in contact with OM. Says needs space and time. So that's what I'm giving her. I've since moved out of BR and into spare room , told the kids we were not getting along right now. And we were trying to work things out.
This is so hard for me to do . I give all of you out there that have done this and turned things around so much credit. Feeling humiliated and helpless. I haven't told Any family member about this, hoping it gets resolved soon. Don't know how long I can go on in Limbo. Some days I feel I can do it, other days just want to go the lawyer and file myself. She has become a totally different person. She is not the woman I married, not even the woman from last year. I admit I see this beautiful person on the outside and feel her ugliness on her inside. Turns me off. But I know I love her and want to save my marriage and family. I m hoping this person she has become is just a temporary phase. And she starts seeing things for what they are. I'm reading DR now and trying implement strategies. We're still living under same roof because it seems we're not ready to open this up to family members which is a sign of hope for me. I'd refuse to leave any way since it was her who is unhappy.
Been doing all that. I need to have patience. I know Marathon. Tough in same house, kids. Can't believe I'm living with a woman I don't know. MLC. 180 is tough for me because I truly believe I was always good to her.
