Bea, I hope that the crazy missives you've been receiving soon stop. I hope it doesn't spread like the flu! LOL! My little loon has been very quiet for the last 6 months and I'm thankful for that...but like you, they can crop up at any time.
Who knows...the holidays may have brought out the crazies in them. LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.