Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #4

[HPoirot]

Thank you Wonka, Calibri, rppfl, and LITB. I did not DB regarding W today. I didn't even try.

With each one of her contacts today... I did a repulsed reaction instead of a "time to be cordial b/c it's my goal" response.

Thank you for asking what my expectation is by ignoring her LITB. That is a very good question and made me think about how I've been today and other days like this...

My acting this way doesn't get me anything. It's me rejecting her and not accepting her and wanting her to know that b/c that's how I've let myself feel since this morning.

This is not my DB plan... this was me hating her today. For her decisions... for changing the schedule again so now I have to step up to her again... for inviting me again to do something together to help her under these circumstances.

All that is wrong of me yes. And on a low hanging fruit day. Yes could have simply said... "Hey W I'm already at the house sweeping and vacuuming thanks."

Instead... later I texted... "Hello W. Went by the house earlier and straightened up a little. Let me know if you need anything else."

She said... "Hey thanks. I am here now. Will get s11 at x time."

This morning lying in bed for 2 hours... I left that feeling hopeless about my M. I don't know what she's doing now... What she wants or what she's thinking b/c we don't talk b/c I left and I don't talk to her. I'm irritated at another invitation from her to be in the same space she's in to help her under these circumstances. I'm frustrated she keeps calling me after I've made it clear a few times to call me only on S11 emergencies. She just called me again and left a VM. Now she want to rearrange the finances she agreed to... me taking the all taxes and her claiming just her own pay for the S11 tuition so she can maybe get financial aid. I've already told her I'm not leaving the tuition to her and I'm sick of this.

Ranting. I'm not doing the confident steady man at all right now. It's just everyday with her. I'm wearing down again.