Mozza (7) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

theyre still in fantasyland, Mozza. It stinks that it has gotten to this point, that he's moving in, but now reality gets to set in. Now they have to be on all of the time, which they won't.

Thanks for the reminder, Card29. I see the move-in as an accelerator: either towards a serious R or a breakup. Also, our family life with two young kids could never compare to a part-time lover. But a live-in barely-known new boyfriend? Perhaps. My W is not easy to live with and can start arguments or be unyielding. He might just not be perfect either, who knows.

How is your detachment? Obviously its not perfect since you are craving her. I don't blame you, I was there for 6 months! At least you're not pursuing like I did lol. What is the most detached you've been during this process?

Interesting question. As I recall, it's in early December when I went on two trips and I didn't have the kids for 12 straight days. The change of scenery, the ego boost I got from my friends and not having the kids helped me replenish my energy reserves. My detachment came from the idea that I wasn't such a bad husband after all and that my W made a big mistake when she left me for this new guy and that she'd come to regret it.

I'm more detached than at the beginning. I really try to avoid information about her and too many interactions. So it's evolving, even though I'm not there.I'm observing your (sudden!) evolution and seeing how it sticks, and maybe how it can inspire me.

Thanks for sharing your story and helping me see through mine.